For small-group leaders
Lead a group through the book
How to run a ninety-minute session, week by week, through the twelve weeks of Ancient Wisdom, Modern Brains. You don’t need to know the brain to lead this study. You need a willingness to take the journey with the men around you, and to ask the questions that often go unasked.
You don’t need to know the brain
On Thursday nights I sit around a table with a group of men at my church. I’m not the leader; I’m one of the participants, and we have amazing leaders and participants in that room. Nobody there has to be a Bible scholar to belong. A man joins a Bible study to learn the Bible, not because he already knows it. The same holds here. A man can lead this study without knowing what the amygdala does or how cortisol works, because the study is a journey, and the leader takes it with his men, not ahead of them.
What a leader does need is a willingness to go on that journey, and the nerve to ask the questions that often don’t get asked. When you don’t know something, say so, and ask. “I don’t know. Let’s find out” is one of the best sentences a leader can say, because it gives every man in the room permission to say it too. This site exists to help you find out. The section on your resources below shows you where to look.
Keep it small: five to nine men
I recommend groups of five to nine, seven give or take two. A small group gives every man room to speak, to voice what is going on inside him, and to understand and ask his own questions. The math makes the case. A ninety-minute session has about forty-five minutes of open talk in the check-in and the discussion. With seven men, each one gets six minutes or more. With fifteen, each one gets three, and the quiet men get none, because the talkers fill the space.
- Fewer than five, and one absence or one quiet night thins the conversation. Invite one or two more men.
- More than nine, and split into two tables, each with its own leader. Gather and pray as one room, then break up for the check-in, the discussion, and the practice.
- Keep the same men together for all twelve weeks when you can. Trust builds week by week, and Weeks 6, 7, 9, and 11 need it.
The 90-minute session
Every chapter in the book ends with a Group Session built for 60 to 75 minutes: Gather, Read It Together, Talk It Through, Living It Out, and Pray. An hour and a half gives you room for the parts where most of the good happens: the check-in, the science in plain words, and the talk. Here is how I’d spend the time.
- 0:00 10 min
Gather
Welcome the men, open in prayer, and use the opening question in the book’s Group Session. Start on time, even if two chairs are empty.
- 0:10 15 min
Check in
Go around the room and ask how last week’s practice went, and which On Your Own day stuck. This is the most important accountability in the study, so give it real time and never skip it.
- 0:25 5 min
Read it together
Have different men read the week’s passages aloud. Hearing Scripture in the voices of the men around you is part of the point.
- 0:30 10 min
The science in plain words
One man (or you) takes five minutes to tell the group what the studies found and what they cannot tell us, from the chapter’s How We’re Made section and the passage pages here. Then ask, “What surprised you?”
- 0:40 30 min
Talk it through
The book gives eleven questions. Choose four to six that fit your group, and always keep the last one, “Pulling the threads together.” Answer first yourself, then ask.
- 1:10 10 min
Living it out
Read the five practices, notice the evidence label on each, and have the group choose one to try together. Pair the men so each one has a brother who will ask him about it.
- 1:20 10 min
Send home and pray
Name the next chapter, the five On Your Own days, the practice, and the question to bring back. Close with the prayer in the book, or pray in pairs. End on time.
If your group needs more time, take two meetings per chapter: one for The Word, and one for the science and the practices. That makes it a twenty-four-week study, and that’s fine.
Before each meeting
- Read the chapter and its Group Session, and choose your four to six questions.
- Read the three passage pages for the week on this site, linked in Week by week below. Each page has the research, its limits, and five practices.
- Ask one man ahead of time to give the science in plain words, and point him to the same pages. Rotate the job so every man takes a turn.
- Pray for each man by name.
What to ask the men coming in
The first fifteen minutes set the tone for the night. Ask about last week before you start this week, so the men learn that what they practice between meetings matters as much as what they say in them. These questions work any week:
- How did the practice we chose last week go? Where did you miss, and what got in the way?
- Which of the five On Your Own days stuck with you, and why?
- What did you underline in this week’s chapter, or argue with?
- What question did the reading raise that you’d like the group to chew on?
- Did you look anything up during the week? What did you find?
Each week below also has one question tied to the practice from the week before. Answer first yourself. Men follow a leader who goes first.
What to send them home with
Close every session by naming five things out loud, so no man leaves wondering what comes next:
- The next chapter to read before you meet again.
- The five On Your Own days at the end of this week’s chapter, with the simple log. Five days of fifteen or twenty minutes each.
- The one practice the group chose together, and the brother who will ask about it.
- One question to bring back. Encourage each man to write down one thing he doesn’t understand and to look it up, with the resources below, before the next meeting.
- One man to call. If a man was missing, someone calls him before the next meeting.
Tell them that nobody will be embarrassed for falling behind. A man who missed the reading still belongs at the table, because the passages and questions stand on their own.
Week by week
The book groups three passages from this site into each week. The focus and the watch-for notes come from the leader notes at the back of the book. You can see how every week connects to the others on the map.
- Week 1
The Mind Can Be Renewed
Romans 12:2 · Renewing the Mind and Neuroplasticity · “Talk of Them When You Walk”: Scripture Memory and Spaced Repetition · “Train Up a Child” and the Neuroscience of Habit
- Ask them coming in
- What made you say yes to twelve weeks, and what do you hope changes in you by the end?
- Your focus
- Set the rhythm of practice and check-in. Everything else rests on it.
- Watch for
- Men who expect a habit to form in 21 days. Tell them it takes about two months, and a missed day doesn’t ruin it.
- Send them home with
- Choose one verse for the month and say it from memory four times a day. Start the log at the end of On Your Own.
- Week 2
- Ask them coming in
- Did you say your verse from memory this week? Where did it show up when you needed it?
- Your focus
- The difference between rumination and solving the problem in front of you.
- Watch for
- A man in a dark season needs more than a gratitude list. Follow up with him privately.
- Send them home with
- Start a specific “worthy of praise” list, and choose the person who will get your gratitude letter.
- Week 3
Tomorrow Will Care for Itself
Matthew 6:34 · “Do Not Worry About Tomorrow”: Worry and the Body’s Stress Response · A Joyful Heart and the Immune System · “Bodily Discipline Is Only of Little Profit”: The Body in Its Place
- Ask them coming in
- When your mind ran the same loop this week, what concrete next step answered it?
- Your focus
- Trust in the Father as the foundation, not as a technique.
- Watch for
- Chronic anxiety that may need professional help.
- Send them home with
- Set a daily appointment to hand tomorrow to the Father, and walk most days.
- Week 4
- Ask them coming in
- What happened to the worry you handed over on schedule? Did tomorrow wait for you?
- Your focus
- Rest as a gift and a sign of freedom.
- Watch for
- Men who feel guilty about resting.
- Send them home with
- Try the ten-minute Psalm 46 sit, and protect seven hours in bed.
- Week 5
- Ask them coming in
- How did the ten minutes of stillness go? What fought you for the time?
- Your focus
- Listening first, and the sunset check-in.
- Watch for
- Anger at home that may be dangerous. Talk with that man privately, and get help involved.
- Send them home with
- Try the sunset check-in with your wife or the person closest to you.
- Week 6
Coming Clean
Matthew 6:14–15 · Forgiveness · “When I Kept Silent”: Confession and the Weight of Secrets · “Godly Sorrow” and “the Sorrow of the World”: Guilt and Shame
- Ask them coming in
- Did the sun go down on anything this week? What did you do with it?
- Your focus
- Forgiveness is not excusing. Confession goes to one trusted brother.
- Watch for
- Pressure to confess in public, and any sign of ongoing abuse. Repeat the confidentiality rule before you start.
- Send them home with
- Pray the forgiveness line of the Lord’s Prayer with a name in it, every day.
- Week 7
Not Meant to Carry It Alone
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 · “Two Are Better Than One”: Loneliness and Mortality · “Perfect Love Casts Out Fear”: Social Regulation of Threat · “Weep with Those Who Weep”: Empathy and Compassion
- Ask them coming in
- Without naming anyone, did you pray the forgiveness line with someone in mind? What changed in you?
- Your focus
- Every man names one “lifter,” his Aaron and Hur.
- Watch for
- Isolated men who don’t come back. Call them.
- Send them home with
- Tell your Aaron and Hur that you named them, and make one empathy call.
- Week 8
The Company You Keep
Proverbs 13:20 · “He Who Walks with Wise Men”: The Company You Keep · “Love Your Enemies”: Contact Across the Dividing Wall · “Singing with Thankfulness”: Music and Bonding
- Ask them coming in
- Who did you call this week, and what happened when you did?
- Your focus
- Choosing your company, and loving your enemies.
- Watch for
- Teens and young men in the group’s families.
- Send them home with
- Audit your weekly company, and pray for one enemy by name every day.
- Week 9
Walk the Other Way
Proverbs 4:14–15 · “Avoid It, Do Not Pass By It”: Fleeing Temptation · “I Will Seek Another Drink”: The Craving Cycle · “The Plans of the Diligent”: Patience and Delayed Reward
- Ask them coming in
- What did the company audit show you? Did you pray for the man you named?
- Your focus
- Decide before the moment, and flee with company.
- Watch for
- Addiction. Follow up privately and help the man find real help. Repeat the confidentiality rule before you start.
- Send them home with
- Set your “bingo fuel” line ahead of time, and tell one brother where it is.
- Week 10
- Ask them coming in
- Where did you change the road this week, and not just your resolve?
- Your focus
- Contentment is learned, and generosity brings joy.
- Watch for
- Men under real financial strain.
- Send them home with
- Name your “enough,” and give on purpose, to a face, once this week.
- Week 11
When the Pressure Comes
Romans 5:3–4 · “Tribulation Brings About Perseverance”: Trials and Resilience · “Pour Out Your Heart Before Him”: Lament and Naming What Hurts · “Hope Deferred Makes the Heart Sick”: Hope and the Heart
- Ask them coming in
- What did you give this week, and what did giving to a face feel like?
- Your focus
- Honest lament is a form of faith.
- Watch for
- Men in active grief or crisis. Make room for them. Repeat the confidentiality rule before you start.
- Send them home with
- Write a lament of your own, and practice naming the feeling in one word.
- Week 12
- Ask them coming in
- If you wrote a lament, what did it do for you? Share only what you choose.
- Your focus
- Finishing well, and choosing the practices to keep.
- Watch for
- The last meeting can feel like the end. Plan what the group does next before you leave the room.
- Send them home with
- Write down your “one thing,” and choose three practices for the thirty-day start.
Your resources for the brain questions
When a man asks a question about the brain that you can’t answer, you have plenty of help. Start here:
- The passage pages. Every passage has the research in plain words, what the studies cannot tell us, five practices with evidence labels, and links to the sources.
- The map of connections. It shows how each week ties to the others, which brain systems show up where, and the four threads that run through the book.
- The Ask guide. Ask it a question in your own words, and it answers from the research on this site and points you to the page to read next.
- The sources. All 245 studies and books behind the site, with links, for the man who wants to read the study himself.
- The rule of life and the 30-day start for the end of the twelve weeks.
The general AI assistants make good study partners too. Claude from Anthropic, ChatGPT, and Grok will explain a term, walk you through a study, or help you think through a hard question at whatever level you need. Try questions like these:
- “Explain what the amygdala does in plain words, as if I’m leading a men’s Bible study.”
- “What is the default mode network, and what does it have to do with rumination?”
- “Summarize this study for me, and tell me what it can’t prove.”
- “A man in my group asked why sleep affects anger. How would you answer him in two minutes?”
Three cautions keep these tools in their place. Check what an assistant tells you against the passage pages and sources, because it can sound sure and still be wrong. Keep the men’s stories out of it, because what’s shared in the group stays in the group. And hold the science loosely and the Scripture firmly. Studies get revised, and God’s Word doesn’t need them.
When the study touches tender places
Some weeks reach deep: anger (Week 5), confession (Week 6), loneliness (Week 7), temptation and addiction (Week 9), and suffering (Week 11).
- Name the confidentiality rule at the first meeting: what’s shared in the group stays in the group. Say it again before Weeks 6, 9, and 11.
- Never pressure a man to share specifics in the group. Encourage him to talk with one trusted brother instead.
- Follow up privately. If a man mentions something serious, call him that week.
- Know when to refer. Depression that won’t lift, thoughts of suicide, abuse in the home, or an addiction a man can’t stop all call for your pastor and a professional counselor or doctor. Make the connection yourself if you can. In the United States, call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. In an emergency, call 911.
- Say it plainly: using medical or psychological care is not a failure of faith.
After the twelve weeks
Talk as a group about what comes next. You might work through the thirty-day start together and check in weekly, pair up as lifters and keep meeting in twos or threes, go back through the book one chapter a month, or invite new men and start again. The men who just finished make the best co-leaders.
If your group isn’t using the book, the study guide works one passage per meeting, with discussion questions and a practice for each, and this page’s session plan fits it just as well.